Pink Day
by angel puppeteer
Summary: Rape has never been this good... Especially if it's Sakura and her teeth on your zipper. “I’ll unzip your fabulous pants with my teeth.” SasuSaku. CRACK.
1. the day i found out she has breasts

From _Sou Dayo! Dai Ichi Ai!_ series, (because I am bored, and I _need sugar and I _love _pink _because _Pink _is emo and _heavy metal_)here is the _full_ story of _Crazy Baloney…_

Tada.

(confetti, confetti)

**Pink Day**

………

…

…

_(because _pink _is the new chic_

_therefore,_

_muffins and candies are sweet) _

………

…

…

The day was, for the lack of better word, _pink._

Hot and bright, with sporadic appearances of pink petals that made the world _very _pink, its fragrance lingering in the air.

Three pair of eyes blinked at each other.

Two pairs and one gray eye.

Dark eyes scowled while the other, a pair of nice shade of sky-blue eyes, wore a confused expression.

"…alright," said Kakashi carefully, cautiously since his two 19-year old male students, now co-Jounins, were liable to explode. Both hated mornings and late training sessions. "…this is…uh—" he lifted a hand to scratch his hair, unable to finish his sentence. His eye looked over to the distance expectedly.

But none came.

Uchiha crossed his arms. "You're early." He commented flatly.

Kakashi blinked, re-focusing his gaze, nodding slowly, cautiously. "I am?"

"…yeah, sure." Naruto drawled sarcastically. "Duh! Are you two stupid or what?! Sakura-chan _isn't_ here yet!"

As if to emphasize the blonde's point, the wind blew pink petals, scattering around them. Annoyed, Sasuke brushed the petals off his bangs.

"She's late. That's what." He stated monotonously, shrugging. Naruto gaped at him.

"ARE YOU STUPID!? SAKURA-CHAN IS **NEVER** LATE!"

Kakashi silently agreed, almost hearing the capitaland **bold**letters. The only female member of their team was the punctual component of their group. Regardless of her condition, Sakura would always show up on time with a big smile on her face, sparkling vivid green eyes and pretty, pretty legs. Unless—

"OH MY GOD! SAKURA-CHAN IS DEAD!"

…

…

Oh, _Naruto._

Seconds later, there was splash and we see Naruto, headfirst on the river, his legs sticking out of the water surface.

"Idiot." Sasuke muttered, pocketing the fist that he had used to send Naruto over the river.

Kakashi sighed deeply before backing away. With a grunt, the Uchiha leaned back to the railing, arms crossed, jaw set. The only evidence of his annoyance was the heavy frown on his face and the deep V of his eyebrows. Shifting his gaze, he glanced at the direction where Sakura usually came from.

_Where the hell is that annoying pest?_

"Gah!!!" Naruto yelled as he climbed back to the bridge, shaking his blonde head. He was about to yell at Sasuke but was interrupted with a shout from the distance.

"KAKASHI!"

Kakashi looked up from his book and frowned, surprised that Tsunade had actually left her comfy royal chair to see him in person. Now… that _was _weird. He should be careful in case something was up to the woman's sleeve, he decided, watching the Hokage approached them. As she neared, Kakashi noted she looked harassed, very stressed.

Her gaze met Sasuke's detached one. "And of course, Uchiha," She added, breathless.

"Yeah?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her.

"What about _me?!_" Naruto jabbed a thumb on his chest. "Aren't you going to acknowledge the great-supernova _me_?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes, "Well, uh— we have a problem," she said dramatically.

Sasuke snorted. "Don't we always?" Naruto snickered while Kakashi smiled.

The blonde woman coughed uncomfortably. "This one's… uh…" She looked extremely anxious and even more surprising, she was _fidgeting, _and that was _so_ surprising. Regardless of the weight of responsibility that rested upon her shoulders, the Godaime remained poised and regal under any circumstances. However, the woman's stiff and haughty self-confidence was shattered today. Team Seven wondered, with morbid curiosity, what _problem _had successfully broken that self-confidence.

"Shall we say…" Tsunade continued, her expression was doom-laden which intrigued the three males. "_This_ problem is something a male would _love_ to deal with." She finished finally, cringing.

The males raised their brows.

"Get straight to the point." Sasuke said brusquely.

Tsunade groaned. "It's—" she started but stopped when someone landed behind her.

"Oh, Sasuke-_kun_," said a breathy voice.

Sasuke frowned. _Huh?_

"There you are."

Curious, Sasuke tilted to the side and looked over Tsunade's shoulder. Instantly, his brows shot up.

_WHAT THE FUCK?_

………

…

…

Sakura was standing a few feet away from them, in her red dress, no shorts (because it was her Antidote-Making Lecture Day With Tsunade-shishou, therefore, it didn't involve catfights, fistfights and kicking-the-earth-open-and-Naruto's-head-open which will lift her skirt up once in a while), long legs and bare arms in view. Her cheeks were _oddly_ tinged with red and her lips were glossy and pouty. Thick long lashes were lowered over her smoldering green eyes.

_What the hell is wrong with her face?_

Her eyes had a dreamy and _orgasmic_ look.

_That's the WORD, man._ His inner-self commented, proud at his maturity.

Indeed… she looked as though she just had orgasm. But anxiety made him want to ask where she had been.

"Sakura, where the hell—"

"Sasuke-kun!" Her throaty greeting made Sasuke cringe as she sauntered towards him, her arms spread.

"Uh, Sakura—" Tsunade began but the girl walked past her to Sasuke whose expression was sour.

Automatically, he glared, his personal space threatened. "Stop right _there_—" Sasuke growled but the girl was quick and later, his eyes widened, his body stiff as Sakura pressed her plump lips against his. Her hot tongue penetrated his parted mouth and a moan from her sent a violent shudder down his spine.

_What—_

His inner pervert underwent a seizure

(that's the way, girl, go girl, _go deeper—)_

as her tongue explored his mouth, teeth and tongue.

Sasuke began to feel the beginning of breathlessness and embarrassedly, arousal. His face burned, and burned _harder_ when Sakura pressed her full perky breasts (which were larger from what he remembered) against his chest.

_Oh… _Oh.

Marvelous.

A least, it wasn't Naruto's lips, Naruto's mouth, Naruto's tongue… and Naruto's chest.

Amazing.

Sweet lips. Warm mouth. Insistent tongue. Perky breasts.

And warm, warm kisses.

Soft touch. Soft hands.

And… Sasuke's dark eyes widened, his erogenous areas warming.

Were those… nipples?

………

…

…

In the background, Tsunade, Kakashi and Naruto stared open-mouthed at the kissing couple… or at _Sakura_ harassing Sasuke.

"No, no, no, _nooooo—_ Sakura-chan!" Naruto wailed, clawing his face.

But Kakashi's reaction was positive.

"THAT'S MY PUPIL! GO SAKURA!" He yelled with a whoop and a giddy clap.

Tsunade and Naruto yelled "STUPID!" and kicked him. Naruto cried purple tears as he watched his innocent Sakura-chan tongue Sasuke excitedly.

"Noooooo, Sakura-chan, _noooooo_—" he cried, trying to pull them apart but Sakura's grip on Sasuke neck was tight.

Kakashi shoved Naruto away from the couple and stepped closer to watch Sakura expertly slid her tongue in and out of Sasuke's mouth. "THAT'S EXCELLENT!" Kakashi yelled, showering them with pink confetti. "Man, this is better than Icha Icha PARADISE!"

Sasuke would have to agree, but… _the hell… _her hands? Her hands on his pants—

He started to struggle. But he was unpleasantly reminded that Sakura had monstrous— or rather, possessed a superhuman grip that neither his Sharingan nor Chidori can break.

_Damn it to hell—_

He tried, very, very hard ("but it wasn't hard enough, you bastard!" cried Naruto later on) but his hormones were traitor, bouncing and screaming with joy ("YEAH! SEX SEX SEX SEX!") as they urged him to kiss her back, touch those breasts and be a _man_ and get on with _it _but being THE Uchiha Sasuke he was, he restrained himself and tried ("I fucking tried my best to get her off me!" he later told the furious Naruto) to push her away. But she moaned

(_DAMN IT!)_

and kissed him deeper, so eagerly, and started to unbuttoned his pants—

(_we're going to be raped! We're going to be raped— GIRL, I WANT IT ROUGH!_

he punched his inner pervert)

And with all the strength he could muster, he grabbed her hands with his and pulled them up. At the same time, he tried to push her off him, cursing Kakashi for doing nothing but to ogle and watch him being violated ("but you LIKED it!" Kakashi later argued). No, _no—_ he didn't like it— he was being violated, for fuck's sake—

His eyes snapped even wider and he almost groaned in pleasure (but repressed it quickly) when Sakura began to rub herself against his thigh, coupled with erotic moaning while chewing on his bottom lip causing it to swell. It was _so_ erotic and nearly sent him shivering with ecstasy.

_No!_ _This is not Sakura!_ The thought made his insides turned over and his skin to crawl. A random Henge was violating him?

_Shit!_

Empowered, he managed to shove the girl off him, but still holding her wrists. She gasped, her eyes flying open to reveal dark green eyes.

"Sasuke…kun…"

The voice… that pretty voice—

"No!" He snarled, breathless. "You're_ not _Sakura."

"I am _Sakura!_" She bit her puffy bottom lip, looking so painfully arousing. "Please… Sasuke-kun…" she started breathlessly. "…please, _please_… help me feel orgasm—"

Tsunade shrieked and clamped a hand on the girl's mouth, pulling her away from the panting Uchiha.

"Oh, student of mine! THAT WAS VERY WELL SAID!" Kakashi exclaimed like a psycho, clapping giddily.

Sasuke panted, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, forcing himself to forget the taste of melon-flavor lip-gloss and fresh scent of pink hair. A wild look made his eyes darker, staring at Sakura who was gazing at him lustfully, a hand on her mouth.

"What the _fuck_… just _happened_?" he growled. "Why… why…_why_…" he seemed to have troubling speaking all the while trying to catch his breath. "…she's _not _Sakura!" Violently flushed, he turned away to button his pants.

"…she is _Sakura._"

Now facing them, Sasuke gawked, forgetting his grace and poise.

"But… but… why did she do _**THAT**_??!!" he almost yelled, panicking, near-hysterical.

He felt… violated.

In a good way. Very, very… _luscious_ way.

His body seemed to agree, sporting a raging hard on.

"Was she good, huh?" asked Kaakshi slyly.

"_Shut up!_" Sasuke yelled, still breathless. He shifted uncomfortably to hide his hard-on. "Explain…_now_."

"Well…" Tsunade started but Sakura broke free and jumped on Sasuke (who _panicked_), lips slamming on his. Sasuke flapped his arms in panic, staggering at the momentum. Her hot lips slid down to his neck and were now sucking eagerly on his pulse.

"Sa…ku…ra—" he growled huskily that turned Sakura on. "Stop…it!" He seethed, pushing her with all his might. God, since when Sakura became this… sexually active? And damn, she was a great kisser. _Don't think about it, you moron! _ He scolded himself. _THINK ABOUT…_

Sakura kissed him again—

_REVENGE… no, oh shit, kiss her _

_back, NO! revenge,_

_Itachi, kill him, skin him, kiss her, _

_kiss KISS, _

_fuuuuck what the hell is she doing with her tongue—_

She took his hands to her chest. Sasuke, panic-stricken upon contact of his hands on top of her chest, wrenched his lips from hers and yelled over her shoulder to Tsunade.

"Get her off me— _Sakura!_"

The girl grinned flirtatiously and ground her hips against him.

Red-faced, Sasuke angrily snapped, "Was she possessed or something!?"

"You're enjoying it, admit it!" Naruto accused.

"Shut the fuck up, Naruto! Just help me—" Sakura clung to his neck and was licking his earlobe, still grinding against his pelvis. "—get Sakura off!"

Sakura stopped and looked up to him with a sexy teary expression. "You don't like me?"

"I DON'T! So **get off me**."

"How about this?" she tiptoed and kissed him hotly, hungrily that made Tsunade, Kakashi and Naruto blush.

"AW! That's BETTER!" Kakashi exclaimed.

"KAKASHI!" Naruto's indignant voice filled the air.

Sasuke pulled away, gasping for air. "Sakura, SNAP OUT OF IT!"

"Oh, Sasuke-kun…" She whined, and it was, in Sasuke's mortified realization, throaty and sexy. "You make me _so_ wet."

"_WHAT!!"___Sasuke shouted, horrified. With mad eyes, he turned to the Hokage, forgetting respect and decorum. "TSU—NA—DE… EXPLAIN!"he bellowed, now very hysterical, and close to tears.

"_Now!_"

Poor, poor Sasuke-chan.

Tsunade gulped. "Uh…"

It was next to impossibility that a Hokage would _stutter _in front of a subordinate, an Uchiha, who ranked as the most stubborn in all prestigious clans in Konoha.

"…I was teaching her how to concoct an antidote and well… she put something _too much_… stirred the brew _too much_… put something that is not supposed to be added and well…" A dribble of sweat was pouring off the Hokage's face. "…she started to add something else, this and that and this… she threw random ingredients and…"

"What?" growled Sasuke with Sakura clinging to his arm dreamily.

"…she drank it to test it for herself and she became like _that_." Tsunade finished in a small scared voice, shrinking back in fear.

Sasuke barred his teeth. "…that's stupid."

"You're sweating…" Sakura purred, caressing his cheek with the tips of her delicate fingers. Sasuke flinched at the soft touch, pressing his teeth together to suppress a delicious curl of pleasure. "Do you want me to lick it dry?" Her voice was a mixture of sheer innocence and sensuality.

Kakashi applauded while Naruto groaned aloud. Sasuke gritted his teeth, ignoring her with so much difficulty and glared at Tsunade.

"Bring her back to NORMAL— NOW." He ordered harshly as he fought back a nosebleed when Sakura pressed her breasts against his chest.

_Oh god._

A jerk of primal emotion clenched his stomach, before settling into a raging sensation that made him want to close his eyes and shudder.

I'm normal.

I'm normal.

_Those are breasts, virgin boy._

FUCK OFF.

_Oh, breasts! Come to meeeee (wink wink wink) I need milky milk!_

FUCK OFF, I SAY. FUCK OFF.

Why, oh why was he having a conversation with himself? He's not the Crazy One, wasn't he? It was Sakura, who strangely, possessed an Inner Voice who was blunt enough to say he looked better in briefs than in boxers.

Was this some kind of karma?

Tsunade's answer confirmed his suspicion.

"I… I can't." Tsuande closed her eyes in reflex as Sasuke yet again shouted.

"_What_!"

He wasn't the type to holler and he felt his pride burst into tears and disintegrated into pieces. Where is your _pride _now, boy? Sasuke can hear a sneering voice inside him. His brother— that _fucked up, stupid, penis-for-brains-bastard _will die of shame because baby brother had _just _hollered a panic-stricken cry.

A disgrace to Uchihas! 

Pride, you ask?

Gone with the wind.

And he despaired.

--

THANK YOU VERY MUCH 3


	2. the day i found out rape is to dazzle

_(because you and I_

_do not need a fairy tale_

_dwarves and poisoned apples_

_I'll make you mine_

_with or without_

_fate_

_destiny_

_and_

_fairy godmothers_

_atop the shining_

_shimmering_

_splendid_

_sparkle, sparkle hilltops,_

_I'll build our_

_pig pen)_

………

…

…

-

-

Oh, Sugar _pie _love-y poopie _pie-pie-chan_.

We are _destined._

Period.

Love me and my boobies!

…

…

…and my green toenails.

-

-

His despair escalated into a full-blown misery.

What had he done to deserve… such degradation?

_Er… _Molestation, _yes. _Molestation. Sweet, sweet… molestation…

"Wow…" Sakura moaned softly on his ear. "…your neck is so _edible_…" She purred, and then nibbled on his neck experimentally, her palm feeling up his chest. "You have a great body… Strong… _oh!_" she held back a gasp as she felt his muscles underneath his shirt. "I can't wait to taste it… I can't wait to ravish you, and tie you to my bed post while I play with your—"

The boy jerked, snatching her hand. "Stop, Sakura."

Sakura smiled a drunken smile.

"I can't…" She bit her lower lip, fluttering her lashes. "I… I…am so… hungry for _you_."

A delicious shiver shook his spine. He wanted to close his eyes and relish it. But forced himself not to. He's _an _Uchiha. Uchihas had the power to control _everything._

The Fucked Up Nine-tails Fucker.

Mangekyou.

And the _Wide, Wide World._

Even hormones, the Uchihas control them.

So, don't sink.

Don't shudder.

_Don't give in._

But she whispered, "Sasuke-_kun…_" and he _sank._

Deeply.

Deliciously.

But he struggled (…with tears, blood and _pocari-_sweat), glowering at the Hokage, "Fix her. I don't care how. Just _fucking_ fix her." Sasuke snapped with a scalding look that would have sent a lesser person recoiling to a dark corner. Vainly, he tried to ignore Sakura's hot breath on his neck.

_But I can't._

Her breath was _warm._

Like… _hot volcano._

Damn.

Sakura's eyes widened. "Oh my… I like rude guys! Rude guys are _so_ hot…"

Tsunade started. "Well… it was—"

"Lose the shirt, Sasuke-sweetie. And oh, _baby _Sasuchoco sweetie pie honey-honey boogie-porgy, I'll unzip your fabulous pants with my _teeth_."

An image attacked his mind and his inner pervert swooned,

(_ohhhh, that's orgasm baby, _

_that's ORGASM BABY! ORGA—sssssssmmmmm)_

But Super Strong Sasuke glared at _the _Hokage, "_Bring her back to normal_."

"And your voice!" gasped Sakura, her eyes wide. And round. And _orgasmic. _"It's _so_… Ohh, please, please, _whisper_ my name… whisper _it._"

"It wasn't that easy!" argued Tsunade.

"I DON'T CARE— JUST BRING HER—"

Sasuke froze, his face erupting to violent red and purple. Naruto and Kakashi waited for the Uchiha to explode into sparkly, sparkly fireworks.

"And oh my, you're _huge_." She moaned in satisfaction. "I really like to put your zipper in my mouth, Sasuke-cookie."

"—BACK TO NORMAL!" he slapped her hand away from his crotch. But the girl slipped a hand over his firm buttocks. Sasuke jerked, his expression horrified as though he was having a cardiac arrest.

"And your ass is firm. I like that." Sakura whispered, her lips brushing his earlobe while her dainty hand squeezed his rear. "Hmm… amazing… firm and strong and _oh… _my hand bounced!"

"TSUNADE!" Sasuke thundered, very, _very _red, feeling so… _violated._

_Why me? _He lamented but his body— _traitor, you ass, you sick freaking piece of— _shuddered.

"Sakura-chan, behave!" Tsunade snapped.

"But I'm _so_ wet!" Sakura said brightly, smiling radiantly.

Naruto _shrieked._

Traumatized, Sasuke turned to Tsunade. "FIX HER NOW!"

"Why are you shouting, Sasuke-cookie?" asked Sakura naively.

Eyes flashing oh-so-fabulously, _dazzle dazzle, _Sasuke, angered, turned to her. "Shut up!"

Sakura jerked and tears filled her eyes. "…do you… hate me?" Sasuke stiffened, uncomfortable as he stared down into the pools of teary green eyes, damning _her _and her kind.

"I… I…"

She pulled away, twirled once — gracefully — with hands above her head, her skirt lifted _high_, and she looked at him with dazzling green-green eyes and a pained expression that made Sasuke cringe.

"Why…?" Sakura moaned. And then, she sighed deeply, theatrically. "Why…? What did I do wrong?" she sobbed in her palms. "Am I not sexy enough for you? Is that why you're angry? Am I doing it wrong? Should I kiss you more? Harder? Faster? Deeper? I know I should but… I'm _respecting_ your innocence, Sasuke-cookie! I don't want you to feel pressured because I know— _yes, yes, _I know that you are a virtuous virgin and you want it _rough _and loud…but… but… I respect you! I DO! But if you want… we can do it _now._ Where do you want me to kiss you? To touch you? Should I squeeze your—"

Sasuke's face was red and twitching.

"I WASN'T ANGRY ABOUT THAT—"

"Then why? Why…?" Her so-green eyes sparkled with tears, her glossy lips parted as she looked up into his eyes. Sasuke prayed to whatever god who was listening to save his soul and scrub his mind free of the images. Unbidden, his gaze lingered to her swollen lips, and he was reminded how those lips feel on his. After her lips, his stare lowered to her ample chest. At this, Sasuke had to look away with a wince.

Eyes… _my virgin eyes. _He lamented.

Little Sakura is no longer so little.

_Why did she have to grow up?_

"Sasuke-kun…?"

He closed his eyes to stop the flood of dirty images: big breasts, perky nipples, swollen lips, throaty, needy voice that screamed his name.

Fuck. His raging hard-on was _painful._

"Am I a bad kisser?"

Sasuke cringed, his eyes snapping open.

Sakura's eyes widened, misreading his _Look_. "That's it! Now I understand!" Sasuke was looking at her with horror.

_What did you… understand? _

She now wore a determined expression. "I should improve my kissing! To kiss you better, I must practice more!"

Sasuke turned to Tsunade with a dark eerie look.

The Hokage cringed, holding up her hands. "Don't worry! I'm already brewing an anti-dote to correct the mistake."

"Make it _fast." _snapped Sasuke, snarling.

"Don't _order me around, _Uchiha." Tsunade snarled.

"This is your goddamned fault!"

"It isn't my fault if you're _having a hard-on_."

Sasuke growled and proceeded on defending his honor (I am _not _having a fucking hard-on." "Oh yeah? That's hard to believe. Except if you're _hard all the time._" "I'm going to rip you _inside and out" _"I AM THE HOKAGE, UCHIHA!")

While the two bickered about erections, condoms, pink lingerie, push-up bras and nipples, Sakura turned to Kakashi who was weeping with joy, his hands clasped in front of him.

"I will do my best, Kakashi-sensei!"

He jumped and bounced. "_Bravo!_ At last, a student of mine who finally hit puberty! VIVA PUBERTY!" Kakashi showered her with confetti and blew horns (which he procured out of nowhere, from who-knows-where) while sobbing with so much joy.

Oh, joy.

Oh, _joyous _joyful JOY.

"For the sake of our dreams, I will improve! I will do one thousand tongue exercises and if I fail, I will do two thousands and if I fail again, I WILL DO THREE THOUSANDS!" Sakura announced, pumping a fist in the air. Naruto was found banging the bridge floor with his forehead, moaning an antagonized _'nooooooo—'_

"WE WILL PREVAIL, SAKURA!"

"WE WILL!"

"Sakura!"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Sakura!"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"SAKURA!"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

Sakura and Kakashi joined hands as sun shone behind them. "THIS IS THE POWER OF OUR DREAMS!" Multicolored confetti rained upon them, wave hitting the cliff, the sun shining, shimmering and _giggling._

"YEAH!" the two of them twirled— once, twice, thrice and _a billion times—_ and posed. "SAKURA, MY BRIGHT BRIGHT SUPER STAR! SHINE FOR ME, LOLLIPOP!"

"BE MY GUIDING SUPER STAR, KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

"Sakura!" Kakashi wept, stars in his eye.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Sakura!"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Sakura!"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"SAKURA!"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

"Sakura!"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"_Sakura!"_

"_Kakashi-sensei!"_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO— _stop it, STOP IT!_" moaned Naruto.

………

…

…

I want Strawberry flavor.

I WANT STRAWBERRY FLAVOR.

…so when I suck _you_—

(-censorship-)

Well… I don't mind Melon.

And Tomato.

Yum.

-

-

"Stop clinging… too much!" Sasuke hissed, moving his arm about. However, the girl held on tightly and he had to commend her clinging talents. Why, his arm was getting _numb._

Sakura pouted. "Your arm is so strong!"

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "I don't care." He growled. "Just get off!"

"Oooh, Sasuke-kun, you don't want me?" came her teasing voice.

"Yes. So get your hands off now." Sasuke snarled.

"You're lying…" Sakura drawled slowly. "…Sasuke-kun." The Uchiha gritted his teeth. The way she mentioned his name was maddening him. How long can he stand this? He's _normal. _Maybe he was Not Normal, a Cold Fish, a Tomato Freak, sex _god, _and Frosty the Stupid Snowman… But he _got _hormones. Hormones. Lots of hot, hot hormones. And testosterones. And _sex drive._

He can go _hard, _erect and _hot. _

He _will _go hard, erect and hot.

He will.

Right?

_(yeah, baby Scumbag! Just get it on with her_

_make gazillion of freakazoid babies with_

KAPOW.)

He can go crazy.

Well, he _did _go crazy. (punching a non-existent Other Pervert— _no, no!_— talking to The Other Self was a sign of craziness)

However, as much as he want to turn tail and run, and solve his problem under his shower or maybe under his blanket, he could not leave her alone. Tsunade ordered him ("it's A MISSION, Uchiha," she growled) to look after her. ("she's sick, well, kind of," she added). Tsunade did not trust Naruto and Kakashi to handle the situation. Naruto would tie her up to a tree ("If I were you, I'd tie her up and—" "Say no more, dobe," he snapped, the idea of tying her up was appealing, especially if he'd tie her up to _his_ bedpost) while Kakashi would give her tongue exercises ("waggle it, up and down, side to side, I think for better practice, you should eat at least 50 popsicles and 60 lollipops to improve the strength of your suck! And oh, have you seen the latest flavor of candy snack?" "Just SHUT THE FUCK UP, Kakashi," Sasuke growled).

He was annoyed. Instead of training, he was stuck babysitting his horny teammate. Moreover, Tsunade reminded him that he SHOULD not try to take advantage of the girl.

…

"_As if he would!" Naruto snorted. "That bastard's gender is questionable— AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" _

_He flew up past the ozone layer._

_Kakashi, on the other hand, had a different view. "This will be a perfect opportunity for him to control his urges. A ninja should not want, should not feel and should not lose control." Sasuke shot him a venomous look. "Tsk. You're an Uchiha, alright, but still a boy. And Sakura's pretty_—" _he was rewarded with a smile from the girl. "—it would not be hard to get a hard-on."_

"_Damn you, Kakashi." Sasuke growled._

"_You just did." The teacher gestured to the front of his pants._

…

…and so, here he was, getting tortured ("but _many_ men would love to take your place!" Kakashi said) and getting horny as well. _But no!_ He will survive this _little_ hell. He will prevail. He will never, never, _never _ever take advantage of her momentary insanity—_ What the hell!_

"Wow! Your hair's silky! I love it…" said Sakura, her fingers playing with his hair. Sasuke ripped his head away from her.

"Sakura… get away from me."

"I… can't! I want to have _sex_—"

"…shut up!" he growled, blushing. "…you're so annoying."

"Because you want me so much?"

Really, the nerve of this girl. "No."

Sakura giggled behind her hand. "You're lying."

"I'm not." Sasuke retorted determinedly.

"You don't want me?" she whispered, her green eyes glittering.

"Not in the least."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Let's find out…" Sakura scooted closer, pressing her body to his. "…if you're telling the truth." Sasuke opened his mouth to snap at her but Sakura grabbed his hair roughly with both hands and pulled him down to her with violence. Her lips crashed on his, her hands clung to his hair. Her violence was a… painful turn-on. And the way she kissed him reminded him of the way she hungrily gobble her favorite fruit, strawberry. She forced her tongue inside his mouth, down his throat and around his teeth.

_Don't kiss her back, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't—_

Sasuke groaned deeply and pulled the girl closer, kissing her back vigorously, deepening the torrid kiss. A satisfied moan resounded from her and she embraced him closer, their bodies warm and perfectly molding. Their lips glide with ease, mouths opened with tongues entwined.

_Damn it… _Sasuke thought, cupping the base of her head to kiss her more. He didn't realize that he was almost gobbling her lips, his tongue twisting around hers. He felt her pulling back to catch air but he didn't let her. He pressed his mouth harder and ignored the fact that he too, needed air.

"Ahem." Someone cleared his throat behind Sakura. "Uchiha and Haruno making out in broad daylight." A chuckle. "Now, that's _news_."

Snapping out of his horny state, Sasuke pulled away from her luscious mouth and glared at the speaker.

"Hyuuga," growled Sasuke. Sakura turned her face to the side and smiled prettily, her lips swollen and bloody red from Sasuke's onslaught of rough kisses.

"Neji-kun!"

Sasuke's brows twitched. "Neji-_kun_?" he hissed dangerously to her ear. His arms were still around her hips and her hands were on his shoulders.

The girl smiled at him. "Don't be jealous, my pet! You're my number one and my ONLY one!"

"Whatever…" he muttered and let go of her waist.

Hyuuga crossed his arms. "So," he raised a mocking brow. "Finally hitting puberty, huh?"

"Shut the hell up," Sasuke snarled.

Neji smirked. "Sorry to disturb. But may I suggest you do _it_ somewhere behind a bush."

Sasuke's face darkened.

Sakura's eyes brightened. "Wow… you're a GENIUS!"

"Shut up," snapped Sasuke at Sakura. "And you," he sneered at Neji, "keep your perverted thoughts to yourself."

Neji shrugged. "Just trying to help… good thing I saw you made out with her. I'm starting to think you're asexual."

Sasuke growled and gave him a finger. "Fuck off." He grabbed Sakura's wrist and dragged her away.

"Bye, Neji-san!!" Sakura called over her shoulder. "Wow… he's also hot…"

"Shut up." Sasuke snapped.

"Ohh… Sasuke-kun, don't worry! You're still the hottest guy here…" she paused. "And I liked your ass better."

Sasuke inhaled sharply. _Damn it._

"Am I improving? I got you to kiss me back! Does it mean I'm getting better?"

"No." he said sarcastically.

"WHAT!" she stopped dead in her tracks.

Frowningly, Sasuke looked back at her. "What's wrong with you?"

"I haven't improved?" she pressed the tip of her pointer against her cheek, pondering. Sasuke watched her intently, his gaze on her swollen lips. His eyes darkened when she bit her pouty bottom lip and licked her upper lip.

"Okay then!" she pumped a fist in the air. "50 Popsicles then!" Sakura wrenched her wrist from his hand and ran to the nearest Popsicle stand.

"50 popsicles, please!" she screamed to the astounded owner.

"50…? But—"

"YES! 50! For my tongue exercise!"

"For_ what?_"

Sasuke caught up with her. "Don't mind her. Just give her one." Sasuke said harshly.

"But Kakashi-sensei said—"

"Don't be stupid." He retorted. "Just give her one."

"Okay…"

"I LIKE LEMON!"

Sasuke winced. _Hell…_ The owner gave her what she wanted. Sakura beamed. "Thanks so muuuuch, mister!" she unwrapped the sweet and licked it slow. She glanced at him and smiled. Sasuke frowned. While licking, Sakura walked to the direction of the training grounds with Sasuke behind her.

"Wow… this is good. Kakashi-sensei is right! This will help me improve my kissing!" Sakura exclaimed, turned around to him and licked the Popsicle excitedly while walking backwards. Sasuke watched her uncomfortably, the way her pink tongue lapped at the Popsicle.

_Fuck_, now he was imagining _that_ tongue… somewhere down inside his pants. She sucked and licked the sweet, her eyes on him, half-lidded and glowing with desire. To disguise his arousal, the Uchiha glared at her but his mind was somewhere else.

An image flashed before his eyes.

It was so erotic that he had to bite his tongue to stifle his groan.

"Damn it." He cursed, wiping his jaw with the back of his hand. Sakura stopped; he did, as well, but was so close to her now that he can smell her hair. _Lavender. _And watermelons. And other frutti-tutti scents. She smiled radiantly, and then tiptoed, kissing his lips. Involuntarily, he kissed back.

Sakura smiled against his lips. "You tasted better than lemon." Sasuke snorted, placed a hand at the back of her head and pulled her close for another kiss. With her free hand, Sakura dragged her fingernails over his bicep, down to the side of his body. She squeezed his hip bone, slid her fingers lower until—

"Stop." Sasuke dragged out breathlessly, his hand catching hers before it touch his crotch. "Damn it, Sakura. You don't know what the hell you're doing." He rasped against her bottom lip.

_(oh you're enjoying it, popsicle)_

"Sasuke…kun…—"

He stepped back until they were arm length away from each other.

"Don't come closer." He warned, discreetly hiding his hard-on.

"But…"

"Sakura." He narrowed his eyes at her. The girl innocently stared back, the Popsicle between her teeth. She licked the remaining sweet and tweaked the stick away.

"I want to have some fun, Sasuke-kun." Sasuke groaned mentally at this. "I want to have some fun…with _you._" Sakura said nonchalantly. "I want _you_."

He momentarily closed his eyes.

"I want you so much… I want to _really really really _put your zipper in my mouth."

But when he opened his eyes, Sakura was already clinging to him, her mouth on his skin. "Sakura…" _Don't. Think. About—_ but images flooded inside his mind.

Panting lips.

Disheveled damp hair.

Creamy legs.

Perky breasts— he clenched his fists. Then a scream as he thrust—

"_Sasuke…kun… faster… HARDER_—"

He's going crazy. Officially going crazy. He was hearing things, seeing things. Somebody. Help him.

She was breathing against his ear. "Oh, Sasuke-kun… the dreams I had of you…" she pressed closer to him. "…they were so…_hot._"

"Damn it…" he recalled with a wince the dreams he had had of her. "Get off." He tried to sound determined. Instead, it sounded breathless.

Sakura pouted, puling back her face to look at his eyes. "You don't want me, Sasuke-kun?"

"Absolutely."

She sighed dramatically. "Fine."

Sasuke blinked.

Sakura grinned. "You're not the ONLY hot guy here." He frowned darkly. "Okaaaaaay, you're the hottest but Kiba's still smokin'!"

Sasuke started to glare.

"And Gaara! And Neji! And even CHOUJI—"

He suddenly grabbed her shoulders and crashed his mouth on hers roughly. The girl was so shocked and before she could kiss him back, he broke the kiss and flashed his swirling Sharingan at her.

"…you kissed me." Sakura whispered dazedly. His grip on her shoulders tightened painfully but Sakura didn't seem to mind. She smiled at him, her lips swollen. "You know what… I don't mind doing it with you in the woods. Take me against the tree, rip off my clothes…" she smiled as though she was just talking about candy flavors. "…and I will obey whatever you want me to do."

He growled, his eyes flashing redder. It was…tempting.

Push her against the tree.

Tell her to get down to her knees and she will do it.

No one will see. No one will hear her screams. Her cries. She's weak. So small. So fragile. His eyes dropped low below her chin, at the two round ample breasts.

One push.

Tear off her clothes.

And she'll be his to take.

Ravage her. Tear her apart. Make her bleed.

Unconsciously, he was licking his lips.

_Come on. You know you want it._

He swallowed down his lust and released her shoulders. "No." he ripped out harshly.

Sakura stared up at him with wide innocent eyes before sighing deeply. "Okay." Sasuke spared her a questioning glance. With her fingers, she combed her hair and smoothed down her skirt.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Where are you going?"

She flashed him a smile. "I'm going to find my soulmate!"

"Are you insane?" Sasuke demanded.

"Noooo. Since Sasuke-kun doesn't want Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan is going to look for another soul mate!"

Sasuke can only stare in utter bewilderment. How can someone so _intelligent _can be so… stupid and horny and… and… and—

"…another hot guy who can make me scream all night looooooooong, babycake!"

Sasuke jerked at this. Then his arm convulsed for a long (_really _long) time for Sakura was gone before he could say—

"Damn it."

Then followed suit.

Tsk.

Thus, the race began for her Virginity.

………

…

…

We're both virgins, aren't we?

Poopie-cookie.

Honey-cookie.

Pickle-coco-choconut.

I'll make you scream, my cookie-peacock!

Make me flood. Make me weak and… jelly and choco-_lava-lava _between my legs…

-

-

-

-

Ehem. Strong T-rated contents. Hehe XD Inspiration: _cakes _and lip gloss. Hmm, thank you for reading XD drop a review, yeah? Even if it's just to yell, flame, yadda-yadda. Just drop by, thank you very much!


	3. the day i found out bambi is a monster

"…hmm, tomato-chan, what position do you like the best?"

"…"

"Tomato-chan!"

"…shut up, Sakura."

………

…

…

-

-

He had trouble finding her. When he finally did, she was talking to a local boy who obviously enjoyed watching the bounce of Sakura's breasts. Sharingan activated without him willing it. He jumped down from the roof, landing with a dull thud in between them.

"Sasuke-kun…"

"You annoying pest." He snarled.

The local boy perked up and shouted at him. "HEY! That's the girl of my dreams! You don't talk to her _like_ that!"

Sasuke merely gave the boy a _Look._ "How about this, asshole: you shut up and I _don't_ kill you."

The boy stepped back, grimacing. An Uchiha? Oh no. Better run for his life. Which the boy did without glancing back at Sakura.

"Hey! Ryu-kun!"

"Sakura."

"He ran away! Why do you have to be soooo rude, Sasuke-kun?"

"That piece of shit is your dream boy? Wake up, you idiot."

"At least he's willing to have sex with me unlike you, human ice berg!"

The villagers raised their brows and looked around at them. Being the saner of the two, Sasuke flushed in embarrassment and groaned. "Annoying pest. That's _you_." He grabbed her wrist roughly. "Why can't you just shut up?"

"If you want me to be quiet then kiss me."

His nose flared. "You're awfully forward when you're not on your right mind."

"Who says I'm not on my right mind?"

Sasuke twitched.

What a pest. Literally.

"Let's go." He growled. Sakura looked up to him dreamily.

"But I'm _so—"_

"Shut up. Or I'll put you on a leash." He hissed but Sakura grinned happily, flushed, her eyes glazed over, obviously excited at the idea. Sasuke twitched, flustered, pink-cheeked in embarrassment as Sakura became pinker. Her usually innocent eyes were glowing strangely, as if there was someone else occupying her body.

"That's…" she ran her tongue over her upper lip and sucked on her bottom lip. "Kinky." Sakura whispered, fluttering her eyelashes playfully. Sasuke's whole body twitched.

"Shut up."

Sakura pouted and with her strange strength, snatched her wrist free from his grip.

"You're breaking my heart, Sasuke-kun!" She said loudly, attracting incredulous stares from bystanders. Sasuke was mortified at the attention. Kakashi will _kill _him once the news of incredibly horny Sakura who looks for a sex partner spread all over the village.

"Sakura…" Sasuke started but Sakura waved a hand in front of his face that silenced him.

"I… I just want to kiss you, _you know!_ I want you. I miss you. I like you. I love you—" Sasuke became _very _red at this point, "—I love you like the way I love my panties!"

Sasuke wished he'd die _now._

"Pink panties, by the way!" The pink-haired girl added thoughtfully, her cheeks flushed that made her prettier.

"Shut up, _please._"

Sakura flashed him a pretty smile. "Make me, _baby._"

The boy ground his teeth, glaring murderously at Sakura. The girl only smiled innocently and gave him a flying kiss before spinning around and running off.

Sasuke, having longer legs, longer strides, caught up easily with Sakura. He reached down and seized her wrist, wincing afterwards as he realized he had used more force than what was necessary. However, the girl didn't seem to mind as she continued to sing ("the tide is high but I'm holding ON!")

"Oohh, you're here." A large, drunken grin.

"And damn you."

Her eyes became even more glazed over. "Ohh, that's what I loved about you! Such rudeness… is so _hot._ I really like you, Sasuke-kun. Such vulgarity… makes me incredibly…"

_Fuck._ Sasuke thought with a grimace. He jerked when he felt her hand on his cheek. His eyes narrowed.

"…wetter."

Images plagued his mind, and as a boy, he liked what he was seeing. Growling at himself mentally, he snatched her hand off his cheek and gripped it.

"You're annoying. You're sick. You need help."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not sick. I'm perfectly healthy!"

"You're not. You're _sick_."

Sakura pouted and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Am I?" she screwed up her face and Sasuke found it… annoyingly cute. How crappy.

"Yes. And shut up. _Don't talk._"

"Fine. You don't want me to talk? I _won't._ I'll behave because that's what you want me to do. I'll do it because that's what _you _want."

Sasuke glared. "Now, you're sane."

Green eyes glittered, her smile dreamy. "But… kiss me."

Dark eyes widened at first, before narrowing. The muscles on his jaw clenched, pulled taut over the prominent bones as he pressed his teeth together and ground them.

"You're insane."

"Oh." Sakura drawled. "One kiss and I'll shut up." Her hands waved dramatically. Her smile was sickeningly sweet. "I will not talk for an _hour_. You'll like that, won't you? Peace and quietttttttt!" She sang shrilly, giggled behind her hand and twirled. Sasuke, even though irritated, admitted that despite her momentary lapse of sanity, she remained graceful.

"Two hours." He considered.

She grinned. "One hour."

"Three hours." Sasuke turned away. She was stepping closer, and he didn't move away.

"Nooooo! I'll die! Do you want me to die? I can't stay quiet that long, _I'll die!_" Sasuke winced at her shrill tone. "One hour! One hour! Sixty minutes, three thousand six hundred _seconds _of peace and harmony and quiet and joy and—"

"I get it. Now, shut up."

"—peace and harmony—"

"Fine. One hour." Sasuke snapped.

Sakura smiled. And to Sasuke, it was beautiful. Angelic, even. But he was rudely reminded that she was freaking out of her mind right now. He hoped, for her own sake, that she would not be able to remember all of these. Sakura, _being _Sakura, would dig her own grave and chuck herself down the pit.

Oh, why, oh why did it have to happen? Why _Team Seven_?

Was this some kind of karma for running off to Sound and playing dress up with Orochimaru?

He was scarred for life, he was sure. He'd never look at little Sakura who wasn't so little anymore the same way again.

He sighed, almost in despair.

And then, he glared at Sakura pointedly. "Don't ever try to pull a trick on me after this."

Sakura faked a hurt look. "Oh? You don't trust me?" She batted her eyelashes at him. Sasuke fought the urge to gag. "That hurt me _on _the inside."

Sasuke snorted.

Smiling, the pink-haired medic moved closer to him. The boy twitched at the closeness. It was… awkward. Her smile widened, a dimple appearing on her cheek. Lashes lowered over her green eyes, Sakura moved closer, putting her hands on his shoulders. Sasuke, on the other hand, heaved a deep breath discreetly, and he was disgusted to discover that his hands were shaking a little, his palms were moist and his heart was skipping…

(_ohhh sugar! _

_Me need sugar! Kissy, kissy… Mmm!)_

Sasuke punched his inner pervert, which dissolved into goo.

The breath on his face was warm, ticklish, but it felt good. As her face drew closer, her lips parting, Sasuke almost turn and flee but he held his ground, clenching his hands into fists.

"Sasuke-kun…" For a moment there, she sounded… _normal._ But all thoughts escaped him when her lips touched his. His eyelids dropped, his heart thudded and his heartbeat sounded like a gong. Her lips didn't move, only touching his. And then, she pressed forward, moved her lips over his and nipped at his bottom lip.

Slowly, Sasuke's lips moved, opening his mouth. Boldly, Sakura leaned closer, her hands squeezing the tensed muscles on his shoulders. Their mouths moved against each other. Sakura's hands moved to his hair, nails scoring his scalp. The action made something snapped inside Sasuke. The movements between their mouths grew fervent.

"Mmm…" Sakura gripped his head between her small hands, kissing him, dipping her tongue inside his mouth boldly. She moved her head in an angle to slant her lips over his. The kiss deepened, grew bolder. When Sakura groaned, Sasuke stiffened, and without his control, his hands moved, grabbing at Sakura's hips, pulling her closer to his heated body. With his right hand, he cradled the back of her head, kissing her back. Tongues tangled, saliva mixed. Sasuke hugged her closer, crushing her small frame on his hard body. Pink locks curled around his fingers as he rubbed her scalp, eliciting a soft moan from the girl. Aggressively, Sasuke nipped at her bottom lip, biting and sucking until it swelled between his teeth.

"Sasuke…kun…" Sakura whispered breathlessly against his teeth. He surprised her with a forceful thrust of his tongue between her teeth. Her small hands fisted on his hair and pulled.

Sasuke groaned.

_Damn it._

With immense difficulty, Sasuke pulled away, wrenching his mouth forcefully from hers. Abruptly, the boy pulled away from the embrace. Sakura stumbled backward, breathing heavily.

Sasuke cursed under his breath at his lost of control. With the back of his hand, he wiped his damp mouth, and winced at the amount of the moisture. He licked his lips and tasted her melon-flavored lip gloss.

_Sweet._

"That's it." He glared. "One hour of silence, Sakura."

Dazedly, the girl nodded. Then, she smiled sweetly, lashes lowered. Unbidden, his gaze strayed and stayed on her mouth. Sakura sucked her bottom lip and licked the upper one slowly, deliberately.

Sasuke's stare wavered, flickering. Her smile widened, as if she knew something about him that he didn't know. The Uchiha heaved a deep sigh before turning away.

"Let's go."

………

……

…

"I love you darling-oh, I love you pet-oh, I love you asshole-oh, I love you cake-oh, I love you, sparkle-oh, I love you, choco-oh, I love you… BAMBI-oh! WHERE'S BAMBI?"

"Sakura."

"BAMBI! I love you Bambi, I love you so muccccccccccch!"

"…Sakura."

"Sasubomb, there you are! Sasubomb, let's play! _Rawr!_"

"Sakura."

"LET'S MAKE BABIES! LET'S MAKE BABIESSSSS!"

………

……

…

-

-

"Naruto!" Sasuke bellowed.

The said ninja stopped his taijutsu training. "Oi, teme!" he waved, grinning.

The dark-haired shinobi stopped in front of Naruto. "It's your turn to look after Sakura." Beside him, the girl started to protest but Sasuke shot her a warning look and she closed her mouth.

Naruto raised a brow. "She lost her voice?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I'm leaving her to you."

Sakura viciously shook her head. Sasuke ignored this.

"Okay! Don't worry, teme! I'll look after her!"

"Make sure she keeps her legs together and that she doesn't jump into some random man's bed."

"OF COURSE, I WON'T LET HER!"

Sasuke gave his best friend a fierce glare. "Don't slack off, dead-last." He turned to Sakura next who glared at him. "Stick with Naruto. Don't go looking for trouble, do you understand?"

She snorted, looking away, but suddenly, a smile brightened her face and she smiled and nodded at Sasuke eagerly. His dark eyes narrowed suspiciously at her fast change of mood.

"Behave, got it?"

Sakura nodded.

"Naruto, handle her." He told the blond.

"You _worry _too much." Naruto drawled, grinning wickedly.

"I'm _not _worried." Sasuke spat before leaving, while ignoring Sakura's giddy wave. He was surprisingly uneasy, almost dreading the day ahead.

_She's not stupid, right? She's not going to do something stupid… _

_Right?_

Sasuke,_ oh_, Sasuke…

………

……

…

"I want a pink-haired suicidal homosexual red-eyed long-haired pretty marble-skinned onion-skinned arrogant chicken butt choco-licious perverted sexy ass baby boy."

"…I want a _normal_ life, Sakura."

………

……

…

-

-

Thirty minutes later, in the training field, Sasuke barely started his training, evident by _still_ unharmed dummies, when he heard Naruto's terrified yells of his name.

"SASUKE! SASUKE! _SASUKE!_"

Angrily, the boy threw down his kunai. "Shut up, idiot!"

"SASUKE! _SASUKEEEE—"_

Sasuke slammed his fist onto Naruto's cheek. "Owww…"

"Calm now?" Naruto nodded. "What is it?"

"It's… It's…" Tears brimmed Naruto's eyes. "…_SAKURA-CHAN!"_

Dark eyes bulged, and then narrowed. "What about her?"

"She… She…" Naruto sniffed before continuing. "SASUKE, SAVE HER VIRGINITY!"

Seconds later, Naruto was flying in the air after a swift but hard kick.

………

……

…

"I wish my boobs are bigger… so that you can sleep on them and so that you can put your head on my boobies! Whisper in my earrrrr, babyyyy! Isn't it great, Sasu-jelly?"

"I wish you _shut up_."

………

……

…

-

-

"_Sakura!_"

The girl looked up. Seeing the dark-haired, scowling (but _sexy, sexy_) boy marching towards her, Sakura grinned and waved, "Ohh! Here's Sasuke-kuuuuun! Want to join us, darling?"

"You… annoying… _pest._" Sasuke wanted to congratulate himself for being able to string three words together.

Sakura blinked. "Oh." She showed a flashy smile. "You're angry."

Angry? ANGRY?

He was _furious._ Mad. He had visions of a dark-haired boy spanking a pink-haired girl in _her _luscious pink _butt_.

No. Tying her up in spread eagle was, by far, the best fantasy.

That… stupid, annoying girl.

His nose flared. "What… _the hell are you doing?_"

She shrugged. "I'm having… fun?"

"No." Sasuke bellowed, his voice rumbling. Bystanders staggered back in fear. "You're… you're…" he searched for an appropriate word, but found nothing. He glared at the small poster above Sakura's head: DEFEAT ME AND… TAKE ME HOME TO THE PLACE WHERE… I BELONGED!

His blood boiled and the all-consuming urge to kill someone was… _Arggh._

"We're leaving." Sasuke growled with all the patience he can muster.

"_Nooooo_! I'm having so much fun! You can't take me home _that _easily. There are lots and lots of boys wanting to try! I can't… I can't be biased! I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun! But… but… _you_ know I like you, right? So, don't worry, love!"

"Sakura…"

She shook her head vigorously. "No. Sasuke-kun, no! As much as I want to lift my skirt for you…" Her eyes rounded. "_I can't._ You have to fall in line and wait for your turn. I don't want them to call me biased!"

"Are you _insane?_" Sasuke hissed, almost hysterical, but Sakura ignored him and continued entertaining her "costumers". Apparently, to take her home and _play _with her, a costumer had to beat her in an arm-wrestling. A boy was gawking at the pretty (insane, stupid, out-of-her-mind, annoying) girl, getting ready. However, when Sakura smiled, he drooled and _bam—_

"Next, please!"

"Sakura." Sasuke tried to rationalize with her but—

"NEXT! NEXT! NEXT! _NEXT!_"

"SAKURA!" Sasuke snapped loudly, pale red in anger.

"Sasukeeee-kuuuun my loveeee— I know you want me so much but being an Alpha male you are, you _deny_ it and it's kinda hot but lame and unoriginal and _cliché!_ I know you're upset and scared and angry and jealous _but— _there is a BIG BANG '_but'_ here!— if you really, really, really want me and really, really, really want to make me yours and IF you really, really, really want to make babies with me, then… _fall in line and wait for your turn!_"

Sasuke ground his molars together. "Don't make me hit you, Sakura."

"OH YEAH?" Sakura roared. "Don't make me _hit you too_! I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN HERE AND I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU, CASTRATE YOU, TEAR YOU, BREAK YOU AND PUNCH YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH BUT IF YOU STOP ME, HIT ME… I'LL HAVE TO LIFT MY SKIRT AND EVERYONE WILL HAVE TO SEE MY FRILLY PINK PANTIES—"

The boys started to chant. "Hit her! Hit her!"

"Shut up. _Shut up now._" Sasuke growled, his whole face twitching with multiple tics all over his forehead. "Fine. Do whatever you want."

"ARIGATO, LOVER BOY."

Sasuke grudgingly waited in line (which in his horror, was in zigzags and loops, _just how many perverts lived in Konoha?_ He should have stayed in Sound).

"NEXT! NEXT! NEXT! _NEXT!_"

"Teme! There you are!" Naruto arrived, panting.

"Idiot." Sasuke snarled. "Why the hell did you let her do this… _stupidity_?"

"I didn't!" the blond yelled. "She… she… She _punched me and I flew and _I SAW SPACE AND _JUPITER—"_

"Shut up."

"Fine! But—"

"_Shut up."_

"I won't! _I can't!_ Teme, you've got to save her! Kakashi-sensei will—"

_Poof!_

"I will what, Naruto?"

………

……

…

"Where's my Happy Ending?"

"Where's my Prince Charming?"

"Where's my Shiny, Shiny Castle Atop A Shiny Hill?"

"WHERE'S BAMBI?"

…

…

"_Please, _Sakura. Shut up."

"Only if you kiss me."

Kiss, kiss.

Mwah, mwah.

Hug, hug.

"…Bambi is over there."

"WHERE? OHHHHH BAMBI THERE YOU ARE! I MISS YOU!"


	4. the day i found out sex is like bubbles

(click)

(FLASH)

SAKURA LIVE ON—

…

(click)

(FLASH)

News flash! We are LIVE—

"No. She's _not _for sale."

"But if you pay _right, _maybe we'll—"

"Shut up, Naruto."

"No one touches Sakura-chan and her boobies—"

"Shut up _now._"

"But you can watch _them_ make babies."

…

(click)

(FLASH)

**FLASH REPORT!!! **

HARUNO SAKURA IS ON A MANHUNT!!

To register, log in—

"She's not _on a manhunt._"

"She's on a Sasuke-virgin-hunt."

"Talk again and I'll fucking rip Ichiraku off its ground."

…

(click)

(FLASH)

Want a girl?

DATE ME!

TAKE ME!

I AM SO—

"Sakura."

(click)

(FLASH)

"Ohhhh, Sasuboobie!"

(click)

(click)

"…where is your goddamned skirt?"

………

…

…

-

-

Naruto screamed.

Kakashi blinked. "Hmm? That good?"

Naruto screamed again. He only stopped when Sasuke's Sharingan flashed at him. "Alright… Alright, I'll stop."

"What do we have here, hmm?" Kakashi looked over the heads, being tall and lanky himself. Naruto and Sasuke cringed when Kakashi's lone eye widened, and then, squinted. "…arm-wrestling match? Interesting…"

"It's not! It's for Sakura-chan's _virginity!_" Naruto had shamelessly said it aloud, prompting Sasuke to kick the boy at the shin.

Kakashi arched a slim brow. "Didn't the Hokage tell you to look after her, Sasuke?"

The Uchiha grunted.

"She's making a fool of herself in front of the village and you're not doing anything?"

"I'm—"

"I'm disappointed." Kakashi turned to his former students. "Should I look after her?"

"No." Both boys answered, one yelled, the other growled.

"Fine. Sasuke, this is a mission. Make sure she keeps her legs together and virginity intact or else…"

Sasuke glared.

Kakashi smiled. "…you'll lose your chance."

"Damn you."

"Really… such violence towards your amazing sensei. That hurts."

Sasuke's upper lip curled and sensing danger, Kakashi decided to leave. "Off you go, boys. Protect our little Pink Pinky Princess."

_Poof!_

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto wailed.

"Shut up, moron."

"Sasukeeeeee—" the blond whined, which disgusted Sasuke. "You've got to save her! We should not… Would you just let her have her first time with some random asshole?! No! _NO!_ Do something!"

"What the hell do you think I'm doing _here_?" Sasuke sneered. "I look stupid just by _falling in line_ here. I'm not desperate to get laid."

"ASSHOLE! You're _there _to save Sakura-chan's innocence!"

A headache was coming on. "Naruto, stop shouting."

"So what do you plan to do? You can't beat Sakura-chan in arm-wrestling! You know how _monstrous_ her monstrous strength is!"

"Hn."

"Teme, _what the fuck does your fucking _hn _means!?_"

"NEXT! Ohhhh… it's Sasuke-kuuuun, my flower power!"

Sasuke wanted the ground to open up and swallow _her_.

"Now, don't be naïve! Just because I like you like the way I like my pink frilly panties, it doesn't mean I'll go easy on you! I love playing hard to get because it's hot and it's hip… and frou-frou and… touching and romantic and so cute! Now, now… _do your _best or else…" Sakura's voice dropped into a sexy purr. "I'll break your heart."

Sasuke glowered.

Sakura grinned lopsidedly. "You're so hot when you're angry."

Naruto grimaced. "You're giving me nightmares, Sakura-chan!"

"Be quiet, Naruto." The blond obliged, wiggling his eyebrows conversationally: _what now, bastard?_ Sasuke only scowled and placed his arm in pre-wrestling position.

"Don't worry, my pretty pretty love! Our love will prevail!"

Uchiha pressed his teeth together.

"Ready?" Sakura drawled, grasping his hand. Sasuke bowed his head, sighed and gripped her hand back. A smirk spread over his lips as he slowly lifted his eyelids, revealing three-tomoe Sharingan. The crimson eyes looked directly to Sakura's wide eyes. The green orbs bulged, and then slowly closed, her eyeballs rolling backward as Sakura collapsed sideward, fast asleep.

"Yikes! That's unfair, you cheater! Boo, you asshole!" Naruto jeered. Sasuke rolled his eyes and grabbed the girl around the waist, hoisting her up from the table. Fanboys wailed in the background and when few of them tried to save their pinky pink princess from the fearsome red-eyed flesh-hungry dragon, the said fearsome red-eyed flesh-hungry dragon narrowed its fearsome red eyes and barred its fearsome fangs. The fanboys shriveled and whimpered.

"Jeez, Sasuke! Turn off your crazy Sharingan!" Naruto said, rolling his eyes.

_Wimp._ Sasuke snarled mentally. He tucked the girl under his arm.

"And is that the right way to carry your future baby-maker? Carry her like a pinky pink princess!" The blond continued pointedly.

Sasuke shot his best friend with a glacial look. "Is that so?" Surprising Naruto, he tossed the slumbering girl in his direction. With a yelp, Naruto clumsily caught Sakura's body in his arms.

"You carry her, then."

"You bastard! What the fuck did you do that for?!"

"Hn." Sasuke turned away defiantly.

"I would have punched a hole through your head. Thanks to Sakura-chan's body in my arms, I _can't._"

Sasuke faced the blond with a scathing glare. "I just fixed your blunder, you dumbass. I told you to look after her but you _flew to devil-knows-where, _saw space and saw Jupiter _and _she put her virginity in auction." Dark eyes grew even darker. "This fucking time, do your fucking job without fucking flying to fucking space."

Naruto seemed unfazed with Sasuke's brutality. "Whatever, loser." His blue eyes sparkled. "Ohhh, I know, I know!"

"You know _what_?" Sasuke had a nagging suspicion about this.

"I know how to stop Sakura-chan from running around the village selling her precious virginity!"

Sasuke raised a brow. "What is it?"

A knowing grin cracked Naruto's face in halves. "Watch and learn. Watch and learn."

………

…

…

-

-

(click)

(FLASH)

(through a viewfinder)

Her mouth opened, _is this fate?_

_No, _he replied. _It's bad luck._

She pouted, _how sad! And here I am, giddy and dazzling! Ohhh, maybe, you are right! This is not fate._

His dark eyes watched her warily.

_This is a Dwarf's Tale!_

He sighed, _Sakura._

_Hm?_

_It's a Fairy Tale._

She was dumbfounded.

_I KNEW IT! YOU'RE A PRINCESS AT HEART!_

…

…

………

Sasuke's brow twitched. A tic developed, covering his face.

"Naruto…"

"I know! No need to thank me! Am I genius or am I genius?!" The blond sang excitedly. "I know… you can't find a word to say to thank me… I know _I am great._ And for an asshole like you, I know it's hard to accept the fact that a _pure _genius like me is way above your caliber. And _I know, _I surpassed your modicum of genius—"

Sasuke smacked the blonde boy at the back of the head. "You idiot." He hissed, seething. "What the _fuck _is this?"

Rubbing the back of his head, Naruto replied. "Are you blind now, aside from being an asshole and a jackrabbit?" He grinned widely, triumphantly.

"I tied Sakura-chan to your bed."

…

…

………

Text ONSAKURALAPDANCE send to—

Text ONSAKURASTRIP send to—

Text ONSAKURAPOLEDANCING send to—

Text ONSAKURABLOWJOB send to—

"Who the _hell_ perpetuated these… _text messages_?"

"Uh…"

"TELL ME."

"Uchiha-san…"

"OR I'LL FUCKING RIP YOUR STOMACH OUT."

"It's… S-Sakura-san…"

He knew _he _looked stupid, gawking like _this._

"She… started it."

(sparkle. sparkle.)

"Ohhhh, it's Sasucandy!"

(spin. spin.)

"Hey, have you sent a request? I'm receiving lots of messages!"

"_Sakura._"

"Ohhhh, many requested a lap dance, how sweet! I'm gonna dance, dance, dance… What do you want me to dance, Sasucandy?"

"…"

"But… oh yeah— blow job is getting more requests. Hmm… what should I blow?"

(more vein, vein, _vein—)_

"What do you want, Sasuke-kun? Yours or theirs?"

(whoa!

Bystanders jumped back as fire burst in the background)

"…but I want yours…" Sakura batted her lashes. "I want… PINK BUBBLES NOT BLUE BUBBLES! PINK BUBBLES ARE CUTE! AND FLASHY, AND GIRLY, AND DAZZLING! OH SASUKE-KUN THEY WANT ME TO BLOW BLUE BUBBLES! NARUTO WANTED AN ORANGE BUBBLE! NEJI WANTED A WHITE BUBBLE! KIBA WANTED A RED BUBBLE! SHIKAMARU WANTED A BROWN BUBBLE! BUT I—" she jammed a thumb over her collarbone, "I… want to blow _yours_!"

…

…

"GIVING ME SILENT TREATMENT, LOVER BOY?"

"…I'm going to tie you on a tree, Sakura."

Heart, heart.

"TIE ME NOW!"

"…and leave you there for _eternity._"

"Aww… I knew it! You believe in Eternal Love!"

-

-

-

* * *

I'm sick. XD

And Pink Day is _sick._ (honestly, I should _stop _sucking lollipops while typing XD) Hmm, Endlessly is next (…I hope so) Thank you for your time reading XD and more, more thanks if you drop a 'hi' or a 'you suck'.

kissy, kissy.


	5. the day i found out barney is purple

This is love.

_No shit._

This is romantic!

_No shit._

This… is…

_Sakura, shut up._

But this is—

_It's Barney. And Her Friends._

…

_Hn. And His Friends._

I HATE YOU SASUKE!

………

…

…

"I tied Sakura-chan to your bed!"

Sasuke closed his eyes, grinding his molars as he held back his temper, which boiled with _vehemence._ He's going to kill Naruto. Now. _Now._ Now. _Please, _let him kill the blonde. Let him… kill—

"Oi, Sasuke. Sasuke? Oh god _no!_ You're fantasizing on what you'll gonna do with Sakura-chan's body, aren't you?!"

The dark-haired Shinobi opened his eyes and snarled, "Idiot." He barred his fangs. "Untie her."

"But Sasuke— that way, we'll know she would not be able to go anywhere while lifting her skirt!"

"Idiot!" Sasuke snapped, louder this time, hitting the blonde. "She got _monstrous strength!_"

"Oh," was Naruto's intelligent reply.

"I can't believe you forgot _that_. You're her constant victim."

"But… Sasukeeee, what do we do now? She'll break free with her monstrous strength, wreck havoc by lifting her skirt all the time! This is bad, bad, _bad!_ Oh!" An idea brightened his eyes. Naruto looked at him eagerly, "Why don't you just screw her—"

Sasuke's hand flew and hit its mark.

"OWWWWW!" Naruto clutched his cheek. "You _slapped me!_"

"IDIOT!" Naruto jumped at the uncharacteristic volume and high pitch of the Uchiha's voice. "Haven't you got a decent bone in your body!? She's _your _teammate! How low—"

"I trust _you_."

Sasuke blinked.

"I don't trust anyone but _you_. I don't trust Sakura-chan to anyone but _you_."

He stared with a frown, clenching his jaw painfully.

Naruto made a face. "How cheesy."

Definitely.

"But… you two are meant to be! Destined. _Fated!_" Naruto made a dramatic pose and gestures in the air. "You are _Sasuke_ and she's _Sakura-chan_! You two are destined to be the most angst couple EVER! You two are destined to make babies together! You two are destined to spend the eternity, the rainbows, the sunflowers, the solar system and whatever it is they say in TV's— _together. _Forever and ever. You two…" the blonde grinned widely, gums and teeth. "…are doomed to be cliché."

"Naruto…"

"She belongs to you and you belong to her. That's the way it is. Like the way the birds and the bees. And no matter how many angst _fanfictions _are there to crawl out of the internet, how many times you deny, how many times she gives up, how many times you hurt her and forgive you and forgets it, no matter how many times she raves that she will forget _you_, she will move on from _you_, she will stop caring about _you_ (oh yes, she raved one night and _yes, _she was drunk and I memorized her lines with my GREAT BRAIN) and will let your fangirls rape you because you deserve to be raped, _the two of you will end up together._"

"You and your clichés, Naruto." Sasuke snorted, but not with animosity or mockery.

"Oh come on, badass. You _loved _clichés. You cried over Bambi. _Don't deny it!_" Naruto hollered. "Sakura-chan's taste in men is very poor. Tsk. She needs her eyes examined. I mean, I _am _the real man here! And you are the she-man!"

Said _she-man _punched the Real Man in the ribs.

"Plus," Naruto wheezed out, holding his ribs, "I prefer seeing suicidal pink-haired red-eyed assholes and freaky monstrously powerful cutie pies running around the village _than_ watching pink-haired _bushy-browed_ BOWL-CUT in green baby _spandex_ squealing _youth, youth, youth_!" the blonde grasped his shirt, teary-eyed. "Please, Sasuke-teme, you've got to make babies with Sakura-chan!"

Sasuke shoved him off. "Pervert."

"Blah! Said the man who tongued Sakura-chan behind the bush. Anyway," Naruto added hurriedly at the murderous look on Sasuke's face. "Just be gentle with Sakura-chan! She's a virgin."

Sasuke twitched, furiously red. "Shut up, Naruto. _Shut up._"

"I'm just reminding you! Don't jump her like a crazy rabbit on drugs! It will hurt!"

"Shut up or I'll rip your tongue out."

"Blaahh," Naruto waved as he climbed up to Sasuke's window. "And oh, I forgot something."

Sasuke glowered. Naruto flashed him a grin.

"Don't do doggy style!"

A well-aimed kunai flew. Naruto clumsily dodged it and ended up falling head first to the ground outside Sasuke's window.

-

-

-

After untying her wrists from the bars of the bed's headboard, Sasuke sat down on a chair beside the bed, looking stressed. A frown creased his forehead.

_Damn. Just one day and everything's crazy._

He could not take another day like this. He could not stand another day chasing Sakura, worrying about her virginity, making sure her legs were close, holding back his urges, enduring her harassing and dirty talk, his control… her touch… her kiss…

He tugged at his dark hair.

He'll go mad.

With a sigh, he lifted his gaze to her slumbering face. He wondered how an innocent woman could cause so much mayhem in a day. He dreaded the next days already…

Exhausted, he closed his eyes and dreamed of pink hair and green eyes.

-

-

-

When he woke up— _crap, I fell asleep!— _he was shocked— _horrified_ was the better word— to find himself tied to _his _bed with _Sakura _on top of him.

"Sakura…" He hissed. "What the hell did you do?!"

-

-

-

The girl straddling his lips pouted. And to his horror, Sasuke found it cute.

"I got sad, Sasubabe."

Sasu-babe twitched. "Untie me."

"Nooooo," she grinned and she looked drugged. _Kami. _He hated _Tsunade _with all his fucking heart. He made a mental note to include the woman in his Freaking-People-Hit-List-Before-I-Die— because the only thing that will make him happy was to eradicate all _fucking _annoying people who messed up his life (of course, that includes Itachi— but Itachi is _special_) his peace, his apartment, his tomatoes, his dreams, his…

"I'm so glad Sasubabe had opened his pretty eyes!" She pouted, and Sasuke winced. "I thought you're going to sleep foreveeeer! I can't bear the thought of not seeing your pretty eyes!" A grin almost cracked her face into halves. "Because, baby… just one look from _you_, I'll come _really _hard."

_Damn it!_ He had to get away. Fast. Right now.

"Untie me, Sakura."

"Noooo. I like you just the way you are. It's perfect, actually!"

"You idiot…" Sasuke tested the binds. They were tight, but not tight enough to disturb his circulation. If he use Chidori to free himself immediately, he might overdo it (he _overdid _everything) and hurt Sakura. If he used super strength— hey, he _didn't _have super strength, did he?

Crap.

"Oh, Sasubabe looks angry. My love… the angrier you get, the rougher you'll get in bed so get angrier!" Sakura grinned drunkenly, tracing his cheekbone with the tip of her index finger. "Anyways, are you hungry? Are you thirsty? You can suck—"

"_Shut up!_" Sasuke cut off before she could _even_ continue. But it was too late. He was scarred. He was scarred _for life._ "Just untie me, Sakura. Do it."

She pouted, and he found it cute. He cringed inwardly and cursed _Itachi_, Madara, Tsunade and the Ramen Man. "I don't want to! You're mine, Sasucandy! You're _mine!_" Her claim on him made him blush but he reminded himself: _she's not on her right mind._ It was the stupid potion by a stupid old woman so— _don't get a hard-on._

The mere thought of getting a—

"Get off me." Sasuke growled before he could even complete the sentence inside his head. "Now, Sakura."

"Noooo…"

"Sakura."

"Oh! Please, whisper my name! _Whisper _it!"

"Just _get off_."

The girl simply smiled at him innocently, batting her eyelashes innocently— _fuck that!?_ Sasuke cursed venomously. He pulled at the binds and the ropes rubbed at his wrists painfully. Her smile widened, amused at his valiant efforts to free himself. Lower lip between her teeth, Sakura ran her hands over his shoulders, rubbing the tensed muscles and slowly… she rolled her hips against his.

Sasuke stiffened. _What the fuck—_

"Oh!" gasped Sakura, eyes round. Color rose to her cheeks while her eyes brightened. And Sasuke _didn't _like the sudden eerie brightness of her green eyes. "This… feels…" she bit her lip, lashes dropping, eyes hooded. "…so good." She whispered breathlessly.

Sasuke suppressed the delicious tingles that convulsed his spine. _This is goddamned wrong._ "Stop it." Before his body could— _damn you, body!_ "Stop it, Sakura!" It was very uncomfortable. It was warm. The friction felt good. And… And… And most of all, it was arousing. He clenched his fists. "You annoying—" his breath caught when Sakura repeated the action, but _harder_ this time.

"Sakura…!" Sasuke was near hysterical. He was normal. His body was normal and his body— _die you traitor— _was reacting. Contrary to popular beliefs in Leaf and outside _Naruto_, he was one goddamned male with goddamned hormones. "Stop it, Sakura. You—"

"It… hurts." The girl whimpered breathlessly, almost close to panting. Her throaty admission made Sasuke swallow. The pink-haired healer looked like she was having some _seriously_ crazy orgasm— he vaguely wondered she'll looked prettier if _indeed _she was having one— her jade eyes were greener and ironically, they were filled with innocence, which was puzzling, odd, and _whatever._ But _that _innocence was sexy and… His dark eyes watched the pale skin of her neck as Sakura bent back her head.

"Stop…" he hissed, voice raspy.

"No…" Sakura smiled and cupped his face with her hands. She kissed his lips, and Sasuke firmly kept his mouth shut, as her tongue brushed his lips. Her teeth sucked on his lower lip, chewing it delicately. Short nails raked the scalp behind his ears. The feel of her nails on his scalp caused a tingle, making him groaned. She retreated for a while, licked her lips and whispered against his closed mouth. "Open up, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke swallowed and kept his jaw locked determinedly. Damn, who knows what he'll do once he opens his mouth and let her tongue him? His pride will melt into a puddle of goo and his lovely parents will roll and flip in their graves in _shame _because their son— the supposed-to-be asexual son—

No. Not so asexual anymore.

"Fine." Sakura pouted. Sasuke glared at her which she returned with a smile. "We'll do this the hard way." She reached down between them and—

"What the hell—" Ah. Too late. Sakura quickly slipped her tongue inside his mouth. Sasuke groaned and closed his eyes, cursing himself, Itachi, Itachi, and _Itachi. _The hand in between them went back to his hair.

Why? Why did he leave Sound? He should have stayed there and die _a virgin_ death there than to get molested like this… His hormones screamed at him: _hypocrite!_ But he ignored the scream and continued to lament his doom. But his lamentations were interrupted— _nicely_— when Sakura moaned, dug her fingers deeper into his hair and deepened the kiss. Sasuke repressed a groan as her tongue moved restlessly inside his mouth and against his tongue. It was very warm now, between their mouths, inside his mouth and inside his pants. The girl pulled away from the kiss for a second, her tongue sticking out with a thin strand of saliva connecting her tongue from his. Sasuke opened his eyes. Slowly, she put her tongue back inside her mouth. She smiled sweetly—_how can she smile like that after molesting my mouth!_— and kissed him again. This time, Sasuke didn't resist, only clenched his fists, his nails leaving crescent-shaped marks in his palms.

"Mmm…" she murmured against his lips. "You taste really good… Sasuke-chan."

Sasuke swallowed. "You've got to stop." He rasped.

"Not now when I'm having so much fun."

"Sa—"

_Damn. _She should stop interrupting him with her _tongue._

She pressed closer, kissing him deeply that will make Jiraiya and Kakashi blush.

Sasuke dug his nails into his palms. He felt his muscles tightened around his bones under his skin. His senses were sharp and he can feel her heartbeat, her pulse, the incredible warmth, her sweetness. For such a wide-eyed, innocent-eyed girl, Sakura sure was, surprisingly, a good kisser.

…_was she practicing?_

He dismissed the thought darkly.

_It's the potion, it's the potion. Not Sakura. NOT SAKURA._

But no matter how hard he denied this, she was an incredible kisser. She tasted good, she smelt like freshly unwrapped chocolates, and her hair on his face smelt like watermelon. Or raspberry. Maybe, cherries.

Temporarily satiated, the girl released his swollen lips and sat up. Sasuke was relieved, slightly mortified at being molested. He cringed. He…? Molested? Damn, he could just simply break free or scream _Chidori _at the top of his lungs… but his mind was fogged. No amount of logical reasoning can clear his mind… as of the moment.

Because Konoha's Super Cute Sweetheart was sitting _on _him.

"Sakura," began Sasuke in a voice he hoped was sharp and strong.

The Super Cute Sweetheart grinned at him cheekily. "I really like it when you whisper my name like that, Sasuberry!"

He _didn't _whisper her name. He _didn't._ The dark-haired boy curled his lip in disgust at his new _pet _name.

"…Oh, babe… I can't wait to RAVISH YOU!"

Sasuke was _horrified._ Yes, he was. Believe it. Sakura possessed superhuman strength. Ravishing would feel like blinking for her. Oh, why… _why_? Where was the blonde idiot— _that _Naruto when he needed him?!

"Sakura—"

The girl wasn't listening. "Ohh, the things I'd do to you… Darling Pet…" she murmured dreamily, her green eyes darkening. Again, Sasuke chanted inside his mind, _it's the damn potion, it's the damn potion…_ However, his body was reacting. His hormones were having a field day— (_sex! Sex! Sex!_)

SHUT UP. SHUT UP.

"…I'll tie you up. And slowly… very… slowly… strip you of your clothes…leaving…" she paused for a long time. "Leaving…" Then, her eyes sparked fiercely as she grabbed the front of his shirt and shook him, "…_nothing!_ Leaving NOTHING! DO YOU HEAR ME? Nothing! Nothing! You'll be in your birth suit! And I…" She dropped him and pointed outside the window. "I…will sell your clothes to the highest bidder! Oh, I'll get rich… Maybe, I'll ransack your closet for more clothes to sell… Right. But—" Green eyes brightened as a charming smile appeared on her lips. "Your boxers are mine! What do you want to play, Sasuchan?" As she asked this, Sakura was rolling her hips on top of his slowly.

"Sakura, you… Stop it! You don't know what the hell you are doing!"

She blinked innocently. "I don't? Then teach me! Tell me what to do and I'll do it!"

_Why don't you lose your shirt, eh?_ His inner self drawled.

SHUT UP.

"Stop. Get off me. Untie me." Sasuke hissed.

Sakura pouted. "No."

"Sakura."

"Noooooo… Noooo… I won't let Sasuke-kun go! NO! NEVER AGAIN!"

"Sa—"

"You're not going to leave again! I won't let you!"

"I'm not—"

"_Liar!_" She said loudly and slammed her lips on his.

And he felt, underneath all her stupidity of the day, underneath the sweet, desperate kisses, underneath the ridiculous names she conjured— he _felt _her.

And he understood.

…

…

…

_

_

Yohoo~

I survived. And please flame me if you want because I know I deserved it. I am so sorry for the late update, but life's like a rock. It is hard. : ) My greatest and million thank you's for reading and feedbacks. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Kissy, kissy.

EDITED. 12:19AM.


End file.
